344 – 363  Pabst – Rockefeller - Schools  (old book 218-233)

Vincents text                                                                                           Norsk                                   Ny dansk bog

344

During my journey in the nation with more talk about upward mobility than in any other, and with its seemingly unlimited opportunities, the existence of a closed system was a recurrent paradox for me. I couldn’t accept the explanation about blacks’ inherent inferiority, which all white Americans carry in their innermost hearts. “Our ancestors came over dirt poor and made it. Why can’t they?” A veil was, however, lifted for me when I got close to two such “poor” immigrants: Lidy Manselles from Haiti and Mrs. Pabst from Russia. It’s not at all a coincidence that Lidy became my first black girlfriend. At first American-born black women seemed untouchable, locked up behind an invisible barrier. Lidy clearly belonged to another, freer world. Never did that strike me so much as one day when we stood talking to an alcoholic on a doorstep in Harlem. All of a sudden Lidy burst out with contempt: “Why don’t you get a job?” Her insensitivity ended the conversation. Later she even said something like, “I hate them. I hate these lazy animals.” I immediately felt that this was a clash far deeper than between two nationalities: It was the disdain of a free culture toward a slave culture. Lidy, who was jet black and Catholic, represented better than anyone the “white protestant work ethic.” And she was no exception among those blacks who’ve arrived without chains. Through Lidy I gained access to the tightly knit West Indian community in Brooklyn. Like earlier immigrants, they worked fanatically hard, saved money, took pride in education and owning their own homes, and universally spoke of the importance of a strong family. With their sacrifice and fierce determination, they were staunchly opposed to welfare in direct contrast to the surrounding black communities, 40% of whose members are on welfare. Their neighborhoods are as clean and racist toward native blacks as Italian and Irish neighborhoods. In less than one generation, faster than most white immigrants, their income has reached a staggering 94% of the average American family income, even including the many poor still arriving. Since 1% of the American population own or control more than 40% of the wealth, we may find that West Indian immigrants are doing better than the majority of whites even though they come from much poorer and less literate countries than most Europeans came from. In contrast, native blacks make only 56% of white income. Under Kennedy and Johnson, they were allowed a rate of progress that, perhaps in 500 years, would have given them equality, but under the conservative policies of Nixon, Reagan, and Bush, they are rapidly slipping backward. Until the 1960s 1/3 of all black professionals were in fact immigrants. In many elite universities, their descendants represent up to 85% of black students although they make up only 6% of blacks in the United States.

So why is it so hard for America’s own blacks to get into Harvard or Yale? Whatever the reason, the fact that these low-income islands, with far fewer blacks than the United States, can produce such a wealth of talent is strong evidence of the impact of American racism. Their historical slavery was basically as cruel as the American variety, and they descended from the same tribes in Africa. So what makes black immigrants twice as successful as native blacks? Why do travelers to post-slavery countries usually conclude that West Indian and Latin American blacks seem “proud and fiercely independent” in comparison with the “crushed,” “broken,” and “dependent” blacks in the American underclass? Why are fear and hatred still the basic ingredients of the relationship between blacks and whites in America, while lynchings, cross burnings, and race riots, as well as organizations such as the NAACP and the Black Panthers, are totally unknown in Brazil?

345

My explanation is that whites disappeared from the West Indies after slavery, after which blacks there were surrounded by black role models, allowing them to rebuild the self-confidence that had been shattered by slavery. But in the US, blacks continue to live in a majority-white society where we have the power to define them and continue to crush their self-esteem. Therefore, black American parents cannot convincingly, like the West Indians and Jews, encourage their children with: “Yes, my child, it’s a racist society, but you can still make it by working twice as hard as others!” Only people who believe in themselves can do that. The initiative and ingenuity of black immigrants aren’t crushed by our double-edged sword of condescending liberal generosity and reactionary racist cruelty, which defines effective slavery. Black immigrants are too proud to accept the first and, for more than a century, haven’t been forced to deal with the second. Since their psychology isn’t shaped by racism, they resist and prosper in the same way the Jews of Europe often did despite anti-Semitism. Not surprising that my native black friends in Hartford, CT call the West Indians for “go getters” or “black Jews.”

Mrs. Pabst had arrived just like Lidy—broke but not broken—with a background that sent her directly to the upper class. A member of the old Russian aristocracy, she lost everything in the revolution except the most important thing: her upper-class acculturation. She could therefore marry into money (Pabst Brewing Company) like the rest of the 2/3 of the richest 1% who were born into their wealth. Today they own several mansions around the world, and I vacationed with them on a $3 million farm in California. I liked Mrs. Pabst, intensely interested as she was in art and culture, and hoped she’d give me some money to buy more film. So I showed her my photos, such as this little boy in the muddy ditch. His world is so different from that of Mrs. Pabst’s granddaughter, whom the maid is serving, that if it didn’t say Pabst on the beer cans we wouldn’t know that they belong to the same world and that their lives are in some way connected with each other. But when Mrs. Pabst saw these photos of people defeated by apathy and alcoholism, she shouted, “I hate them! I hate these lazy animals! Why don’t they want to work? Why don’t they take a job?” But where does Mrs. Pabst actually get all that gold in her ears, and why do these “animals” not work?

346

Sing a song of sad young men,

glasses full of rye.

All the news is bad again

kiss your dreams goodbye.

All the sad young men

sitting in the bars

drinking up the night

and missing all the stars.

All the sad young men

drifting through the town

drinking up the night

trying not to frown.

All the sad young men,

singing in the cold

trying to forget

that they are growing old.

All the sad young men

choking on their youth,

trying to be gay

running from the truth.

Autumn turns the leaves to gold

slowly dies the heart.

Sad young men

are growing old,

that’s the cruelest part.

Misbegotten moon

shines for a sad young man,

let your gentle light

guide them all again.

All the sad, sad, sad young men.



 

 

 

350

I’m often asked how I got to stay with the Rockefellers—and why. Here’s my story. I left Washington, DC one spring morning in 1974 with the aim of seeing poor coal miners in West Virginia. Since it was warm, I took off in shirtsleeves, not knowing that spring comes three weeks later in the mountains. I soon found myself in a snowstorm at the intersection of Rt 50 and I-79. Mountain people generally don’t pick up hitchhikers—“even if it was my own son,” insisted one man. But when drivers see someone in a snowstorm without so much as a windbreaker, they assume he’s an escaped convict and zoom by without another thought. I stood there the entire day so cold that I couldn’t even put out my frozen thumb. But the more I suffered, the more I felt that something fantastic would happen that day. As a vagabond I’d acquired an almost religious fatalism about suffering—that only through suffering can you enter heaven. Moreover, through that very conviction you’re capable of melting the mountains, or cold hearts, around you. Finally, after it got dark, my hand-held Danish sign got me picked up by two lawyers. Seeing my miserable condition, one said I could stay with him in Charleston for the night. So I was all set although staying with a labor attorney didn’t sound quite like “heaven.” Barely half an hour down the interstate, one of them said, “In there is Buckhannon, where Rockefeller lives…” and I immediately knew why I’d endured so much that day. To their surprise I asked them to let me off there. Then I started the 13-mile walk down a dark deserted mountain road—still in a terrible snowstorm and still in shirtsleeves. In town I asked where Rockefeller lived. He was now president of West Virginia Wesleyan College and soon I found his house on Pocahontas St close to the school.

To explain this, I must briefly go back to my protests against the Vietnam War (before I came to America). Morally outraged by the US’s use of napalm bombs, which incinerated or wounded thousands of Vietnamese—including children—I designed and printed a poster at my own expense; it read ESSO makes napalm. (Esso is now known as Exxon.) I ran around pasting them up all over Copenhagen, often with the police in hot pursuit. One cold December night, I climbed a tall tree to avoid being captured by the police, who, as I discovered, usually were also opposed to the Vietnam War. To toy with me, two smiling cops parked their car beside the tree. “You can sit up there all night and freeze while we relax in the warm car and drink coffee until you come down.” Although I was freezing in my lofty haven, I was determined to win over my tormentors. I didn’t come down and by morning they gave up. Every day I could see how I was winning my moral war. Esso, for example, had to hire a whole army of workers to go around and paint the Esso logo over with black paint to stop the spreading boycott of their gas stations. Thus, the power of advertising—this was my first advertisement—made me both hate and love the Esso logo. In the process I built up overwhelmingly hostile images of the monster behind Esso: the Rockefeller family. I also learned that they’d been responsible for the deaths of 51 striking men, women, and children in Colorado in 1914. With CIA help, they’d overthrown governments, including Iran’s, and installed the murdering, torturing Shah to prevent Iran from nationalizing its oil wells (this later led to the Islamic Revolution). And so, experiencing déjà vu (my freezing night in a tree) and overcome with righteous anger, I felt I was entitled to face the monster himself—and knocked on the door.




352

And what happened? The same thing that always happens when I move in with the monsters in my head: A beautiful young woman opened the door. I assumed it was one of many servants and asked, in the most natural way—I had a right to be there after all—“May I see Mr. Rockefeller?” She said he wasn’t home, but I could come in and wait for him. Although I myself looked like a monster of sorts (a snow monster), she probably thought I was a student from his university. She handed me towels to dry myself off and asked whether I was hungry. If I was, she’d start cooking since she didn’t know when her “husband” be home. Husband? I thought. All the hateful caricatures I’d seen of “Rockefeller” had been of old men. Certainly this was the case after Rockefeller’s massacre of prisoners in Attica, when they rioted to demand prison reform. I’d been at the funeral and knew some of the widowed black women (page 406). But Sharon Rockefeller was almost my own age and her husband, Jay, only 10 years older. While she cooked for me, I started playing with her adorable 3-year-old daughter, Valerie. Seeing how well we got along, Sharon suggested that perhaps I could stay and take care of her; she was going to Europe in a few days and hadn’t yet found a babysitter. A little later a family friend dropped by, and while we were chatting, she whispered that Valerie was named after Sharon’s twin sister, who’d been murdered. “Murdered? How?” I asked in disbelief. I was used to murders in the underclass, not among the wealthy. After Sharon, whose maiden name is Percy, and Valerie had graduated from college, the family gathered in their lakefront mansion in a Chicago suburb. Sharon went to Valerie’s bedroom to say goodnight to her sister, and the next morning her identical twin was found beaten and stabbed to death. The crime, which was never solved, left Sharon traumatized, and cast over the family a dark shadow that never dissipated. At the time I wasn’t surprised about Sharon’s babysitting remark since I was used to people instantly trusting me, but over the years I’ve often reflected on this remarkable woman. How many other women would, such a short time after a beloved sister had been murdered by an intruder, have the guts to invite into their homes a stranger who looked like Charles Manson? (Right after the killing of another Sharon during the Tate-Labianca murders.) How many would ask this stranger to babysit for her daughter (named for the greatest loss of her life)? Sharon shared my own trusting outlook.

When Jay Rockefeller finally came home, I completely lost my heart to this warm-hearted family. Since I was immersed in conversation with his wife, he assumed I was a friend of hers and never asked why I was there (just as I myself had forgotten why I was there). If I’d expected to meet a monster, it was my own projection since to my surprise and joy we had the same opinions on almost everything. He was also opposed to the Vietnam War, later criticizing war hero John McCain for dropping napalm bombs on Vietnamese civilians. After college he’d traveled the same road as had I, working with poor coal miners who lived in shacks as miserable as the ones I’d photographed. Working to improve their conditions in the VISTA program, started by John F. Kennedy, he lost his heart to these miners, stayed there, and has been a powerful advocate for them ever since, first as their governor, later as a senator in Washington. I felt right away that he was “my man.” After we’d drunk quite a few bottles and he’d shown great interest in my photos of shacks and poverty, I felt so uplifted that I told him I had in vain tried to get support to buy a professional Nikon camera and film so I could complete my job. I’ll never forget his answer: “Are you talking to me as a person or to the foundation? Well, come up to my office tomorrow and show me your grant proposal.” I could hardly sleep that night. For the first time I had real hope of getting a little support for my photography (if only some babysitter money). But when I looked over the application I always carried with me, I saw a sentence about “the Rockefeller clan’s brutal slaughter of 41 prisoners in Attica.” I’d completely forgotten about it. I was so embarrassed after having met with so much warmth, hospitality, and trust from the Rockefellers that I couldn’t bring myself to knock on his door. Instead, I turned around and continued my vagabonding with the slogan of the old Rockefeller: neither “a dime for the bank nor a penny to spend.” Angry with myself for my prejudice, I phrased my new insight: The underclass syndrome of murder and alcoholism is just a mirror of the ruling class. Admittedly, the alcoholism part of it referred to what I’d seen in other upper-class families rather than to this family, who’d shown me, intruder though I was, so much generosity. Two days later I stayed with this woman in a shack smack up against an Exxon refinery. Apart from my love/hate affair with the Exxon logo, I think there was another reason I ended up with her. During my first year in America, President Nixon signed the National Environmental Policy Act to eliminate lead from gasoline. Leaded gasoline had been introduced by Standard Oil (Exxon) for its “anti-knock effect,” and Exxon had fought previous attempts to outlaw it. Just before breaking my “anti-knock” vagabond principle in Jay and Sharon’s house—I always waited passively for people to invite me home—I’d heard about new studies showing the destructive effects of lead on children. I thought of all the lead that black children were exposed to in ghetto homes, often build next to inner city highways. (Page 299). This gave me the answer to why violence and murder had exploded about 20 years after leaded gas became common. (This boy is showing me the blood from someone in his family who’d just been murdered.) Lead also plays an important role in the learning disabilities of many ghetto children and explains why many whites, like Valerie, did better in school. 17 years later, after one of my shows in Stanford, a white woman came up to me and asked whether we could talk in private. She seemed a bit angry when she said, “I’m in your book.” I was totally confused since there were hardly any whites in the book. When she found the page, I realized she was Valerie Rockefeller. “Last year,” she continued, “when my roommate came home after your show and told me you portrayed my father as an alcoholic and mass murderer, I was very angry with you. But now that I’ve seen the show myself, I have to give you a big hug. And here’s my business card. If ever you need my help, just call me.” Wow. Again I was struck by guilt because I hadn’t sufficiently distinguished in the book between Exxon, a symbol of oppression, and the loving family who’d once taken me in. I encountered exactly the same overwhelming reaction from three other Rockefeller children at other universities. They even asked for my advice on how they could best serve the poor. So I wasn’t surprised to see Valerie, whose weighty baggage was both negative and positive, end up as a special education teacher for adolescents with learning and emotional disabilities in East Harlem. Somehow I saw a direct line going from our first meeting in her house when she was a child to her social commitment as an adult in Harlem. First and foremost, she was molded by the long social commitment of her parents.

Perhaps reinforced by the inherited trauma from her mother (paralleling the inherited trauma among black children). In any case I was, as with her father, astonished by how much we agreed on everything when we last communicated in 2015. “I’m still hypercritically judgmental of people with money!” she wrote to me. She’s also part of the Rockefeller family’s effort to stop Exxon/Mobil’s climate denial. “As descendants, we have an extra burden to fight climate change,” Valerie says.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



355


The integration of black and white school children was one of the most significant results of the civil rights struggle. That many better-off liberals didn’t allow their children to integrate helped sabotage integration and create resentment among poor whites, who couldn’t afford private schools.

Seeing the conditions of American schools was perhaps the most shocking aspect of my journey. Never had I heard so many brainwashing phrases, such as “Men treasure freedom above all else,” combined with an almost total omission of black history. Today many schools even prohibit books by blacks such as Nobel prize winner Toni Morrison.

This totalitarian regimentation is like the “pledge of allegiance” to “one nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all”. It stands in glaring contrast to the state of slavery being hammered into black children in these dilapidated plywood-windowed “ghetto schools.”
In theory we gladly grant freedom and justice to Robert, seen here pledging allegiance in Washington, NC, for afterwards to walk home to his shack with more rats than books. At least covering the windows with the stars-and-stripes helps keep the cold—and his American Dream—out.


357

I saw violent struggles in cities everywhere as blacks, desperate to break free of segregation and to give their children a shot at an equal education, bussing them to schools in white neighborhoods.

When police and soldiers have to escort children on every bus and furious stone-throwing whites have to be kept behind barricades to protect black children, we teach them on their first day in the white world that the Ku Klux Klan is at the heart of every white ... as I erroneously wrote back then. In my work with the KKK since then, I learned that the children of the KKK are often the only whites in all-black schools since they’re too poor to move away from black neighborhoods.
Also, “black schools” are precisely what many Danish parents today flee from although as self-righteous youths in the ’70s they loudly condemned American racism when they saw my slideshow.


359

These are black schoolchildren in an American ghetto recorded on tape, but the conversation could just as easily have been recorded today among brown ghetto children in Europe:

- We should be friends to white people, like Mary. She’s my friend and she’s white.

- Wait until you grow up and she’ll be out of this world!

- How do you know she’ll be out of this world?

- She won’t be out of the world, but out of this country.

- Out of this country or out of this ghetto?

- Out of this country, ghetto, or anything ...

- She will still be my friend.

- She might turn against you. They might brainwash her.

- A white person is still a human being!

- But why ... how come they treat a black person as if he an animal?

- We must’ve done something wrong!

When listening to such conversations, of 7- and 8-year-old children, I could only conclude that many of them see not only their ghetto but even their country as a closed system and—worse—blame themselves for it. When asked “Where are you from?”, brown children born in Denmark will, for example, say “Turkey.” Like blacks, they’ve internalized the message of our divisive rhetoric: “You’re unwanted and not part of our values.”

When they’re constantly told that they don’t belong, it’s not surprising that many ghetto parents are opposed to integrated schooling despite their knowledge that ghetto schools don’t work. Being deprived of a good education in your own ghetto school is preferable to the illusion of belonging to mainstream society with the deprivation you also must suffer here. It’s a sad fact that even in integrated schools we kill the spirit and motivation of the children we’ve marginalized. Everywhere in the world teachers are creating pupils to fit the image and expectations they already have of them. If you take a random sample of a class and tell the teachers that these pupils are “potential academic spurters,” these kids will, after a year or two, live up to that expectation thanks to the special treatment the teacher unconsciously devotes to them. In a master-slave society, the one expected to become the slave (useless) will thus be given an inferior education, with black or white teachers, segregation or integration making no great difference.

This “innocent” discrimination has disastrous consequences wherever we divide up pupils into “slow” and “bright” tracks, which are naturally a reflection of class society outside. Just how damaging such discrimination is to a child’s self-esteem was shown when a computer mistakenly put all the so-called “slow” children into the “bright” class and vice versa. A year later, when the mistake was discovered, educators found that the slow pupils were behaving as though they were bright and the bright pupils were behaving as though they were stupid—the beginning of ghettoization. I constantly met teachers and even principals who referred to their ghetto pupils as “animals.” To the point where I saw even young children thinking of themselves as rats.

In my own school, I learned firsthand that the image the teacher had of a child became the image the child tried to live up to. I spoke a rural dialect, which sounded “dumb” to the ears of teachers in the city, where they spoke “correct” Danish. As a result, they unconsciously avoided me, and little by little I became introverted with occasional explosions of “dumb” behavior. I lost all desire for learning and consistently scored 30% to 50% lower than the other pupils. Finally, I was forced to drop out, which eventually made me into a streetwise vagabond. Had I, in addition to my ADHD, been black or brown in a racist society, where we unconsciously try to keep such “unteachables” out of sight till they became “behavioral untouchables,” I could easily have ended up not only “streetwise,” but also a “criminal,” “addict,” “prostitute,” “welfare loafer” or filled any of the other roles a society of disposable humans finds it fitting to mold its undesirables into.


360


To avoid the accusation of being the master-slave society’s whip-hand, teachers often find new ways of putting the blame on their pupils. Liberals insist the ghetto child’s “lack of motivation” and “impaired learning ability” is due to being “culturally deprived” since they come from homes with no more books than could be found in slave cabins (or in a Turkish or Arab peasant’s home). Could it be that the teachers themselves have been trapped in a closed system and have become excellent oppressors with their “Our schools aren’t bad, but we get bad students” or “Poor little things,” judgments crushing to children?

If there’s any doubt left, it’s worth remembering that highly motivated, politically and socially aware teachers in schools run by the Black Panthers and black Muslims brought their ghetto kids up to national (white) standards. Private Muslim schools in Denmark can do it in the same way. In other words, by excelling academically, not solely through athletic scholarships.

This expectational deterrent to learning can also be seen in societies permeated by oppressive thinking toward other vulnerable groups. American women, for example, who attended girls’ schools, where they’re protected from society’s sexism, do better after graduating than women who went to integrated schools. If some of us find it difficult facing our own racism, let’s not forget how few men 50 years ago saw themselves as sexists.

Yet the fact that we crushed girls with our attitudes is revealed by the statistics from those years, which show how many women we “forced” away from higher education with emotional blocks that prevented them from becoming doctors, lawyers, and scientists.

When we see the 4th grade syndrome in our marginalized black and brown children in both the US and Europe, we must conclude: Either we need help processing our racism, or children of color must be protected from us in non-integrated schools with highly committed and conscientious teachers, “saving angels” who can restore the sense of self-worth and identity that we so early on steal from them.

Unfortunately, I find myself an active part of this racism. After months of teaching in mostly white universities, for example, I’ve internalized the students’ thinking. I frequently catch myself thinking in racist terms about “blacks.” When I’m similarly isolated in Denmark, my thinking about those whom Danes label “Muslims” becomes skewed in the same way. With the racist’s reproachful and distancing perspective as well as his penchant for finding fault with “the other,” I thus help our outcasts form a defeatist hostile attitude—again, in the blindness of my white privilege. For blindness it is when we outwardly demand integration, but in our inner thinking “distance ourselves from,” fear, and consequently crush those we should integrate with.


362

In Los Angeles I saw a beautiful case of racial solidarity when West Indian immigrant students formed an organization to motivate native blacks not to drop out of high school and college—a sort of historical repetition of the underground railroad, where free blacks helped people out of slavery.

The extent to which we’re all victims of this oppression is shown in this picture of a group of black teenagers. The girl was adopted as a baby by blacks in the ghetto and has been brought up to be black: to behave black, to think black, and to dress black. She has hardly anything in common with whites; she can’t even speak “our language”. In white homes I see the opposite. Black and white, Palestinian and Jew, native and immigrant, male and female, heterosexual and gay suffer severe injury when parents early on recreate the patterns of oppression they themselves received from their parents. Both parties are eventually robbed of the ability, as well as the desire, to treat the other side humanely. We give up deep down, deciding it’s an absurd ethnic alchemy to try to integrate elements that repel each other like oil and water. The frantic efforts of liberals to shake these two elements so much that they fragment into smaller particles for a short time is just a futile attempt to give oppression a human face—like voting for Obama while trapped in the massive apartheid of black and white hearts. So is there any hope at all?









363

Yes, I often hear even the worst racists say, “I wish we could adopt all black children so they could become like us.” Although in typical racist fashion they look for the fault in “the others,” it’s not an expression of racial hatred. Just as Europeans rejoice when “Muslims” convert to Christianity, forgetting that it’s the different culture to which they react negatively. I see this awkward hope most clearly in white students in American universities when they relate how, out of liberal guilt, they try to reach out to black students. But all the time they’re held back by reactionary guilt: they recall all the warnings of their parents in childhood; usually not verbally, but in their eyes or in the clicks of the car door locks when they drove too close to a black neighborhood.

It’s frightening to betray the love of our parents, whom we can feel in the back of our minds pulling the opposite way. So when they reach out to blacks out of love, they are pulled backward out of love. They become clumsy and patronizing toward blacks, who react with deep-rooted anger and hostility since they’ve gone through a similar, but reverse oppression. This revives the white fear—now the fear of being rejected. Thus, the oppressor and the oppressed constantly “create” each other since none of us is free. For what defines all systems of oppression is a loss of “freedom”; the freedom to act in a way an outsider of this system would see as “normal” and “human.”

This cocktail of white guilt and fear creates the anger and hostility of internalized racism among blacks, which in turn creates more white fear and guilt, etc.

The worst racism today is thus not created by hate, but in the name of love—in the desire to protect our children from what we ourselves were taught to fear.
When I take whites to black parties in the US or to brown parties in Denmark, I often see them burst into tears in guilt: after having for so long unconsciously demonized them, they suddenly experience “the others” as real human beings.
Our tears reveal that we’re all victims of racism.




366

 

344

Under min rejse i nationen med mest tro på mobilitet i opadgående retning og tilsyneladende ubegrænsede muligheder,
var eksistensen af et lukket system et tilbagevendende paradoks for mig. Jeg kunne ikke acceptere forklaringen om de sortes iboende underlegenhed, som alle hvide amerikanere bærer i deres hjerters inderste. ”Vore forfædre kom hertil ludfattige og klarede sig. Hvorfor kan de så ikke?” Et slør blev imidlertid løftet for mig, da jeg kom tæt på to sådanne ”fattige” indvandrere: Lidy Manselles fra Haiti og fru Pabst fra Rusland. Det er ikke noget tilfælde, at Lidy blev min første sorte kæreste. I første omgang virkede amerikanskfødte sorte kvinder urørlige, spærret inde bag en usynlig barriere. Lidy tilhørte tydeligvis en anden, mere fri verden. Aldrig slog det mig så meget som en dag, da vi stod og talte med en alkoholiker på et dørtrin i Harlem. Pludselig brød Lidy ud med foragt: "Hvorfor får du ikke et arbejde?" Hendes ufølsomhed satte en stopper for samtalen. Senere sagde hun endog noget i retning af ”Jeg hader dem. Jeg hader de dovne dyr!” Jeg følte straks, at dette var et sammenstød, der gik langt dybere end mellem to nationaliteter: Det var en fri kulturs foragt for en indemuret slavekultur. Lidy, som var sort og katolsk, repræsenterede bedre end nogen anden den "hvide protestantiske arbejdsmoral". Og hun var ingen undtagelse blandt de sorte, der er ankommet uden lænker. Gennem Lidy fik jeg adgang til det tæt knyttede vestindiske samfund i Brooklyn. Ligesom tidligere immigranter arbejder de fanatisk hårdt, sparer penge op, taler stolt om uddannelse og om vigtigheden af en stærk familie. Med deres opofrelse og stædige målbevidsthed er de voldsomme modstandere af kontanthjælp i modsætning til de omkringliggende sorte samfund, hvor 40 % er på bistand. Deres kvarterer er lige så rene og racistiske over for indfødte sorte som italienske og irske kvarterer. På mindre end én generation, hurtigere end de fleste hvide indvandrere, har deres indkomst nået svimlende 94 % af den gennemsnitlige amerikanske familieindkomst, selv hvis man medregner de mange fattige, der stadig er på vej. Da 1 % af den amerikanske befolkning ejer eller kontrollerer mere end 40 % af alt, kan vi konstatere, at vestindiske indvandrere klarer sig bedre end flertallet af hvide, selv om de kommer fra meget fattigere og mindre alfabetiske lande, end de fleste europæere kom fra. I modsætning hertil har de indfødte sorte kun 56 % af hvid indkomst. Under Kennedy og Johnson fik de en fremgang, som måske om 500 år ville have givet dem ligestilling, men under Reagans, Bushs og Trumps konservative politik er de hurtigt ved at glide baglæns. Indtil 1960'erne var 1/3 af alle sorte fagfolk faktisk indvandrere. På mange eliteuniversiteter udgør deres efterkommere op til 85 % af de sorte studerende, selv om de kun udgør 6 % af de sorte i USA.

Hvorfor er det så så svært for USA's egne sorte at komme ind på Harvard eller Yale? Uanset hvad årsagen er, er det et stærkt bevis på virkningen af den amerikanske racisme, at disse ludfattige øer med langt færre sorte end USA, kan frembringe en sådan rigdom på talent. Deres historiske slaveri var grundlæggende lige så grusomt som det amerikanske, og de nedstammer fra de samme stammer i Afrika. Så hvad er det, der gør sorte indvandrere dobbelt så succesfulde som indfødte sorte? Hvorfor konkluderer rejsende til lande efter slaveriet normalt, at vestindiske og latinamerikanske sorte virker ”stolte og stædigt uafhængige” i sammenlig­ning med de ”knuste”, ”knækkede” og ”afhængige” sorte i den amerikanske underklasse? Hvorfor er frygt og had stadig de grundlæggende ingredienser i forholdet mellem sorte og hvide i USA, mens lynchninger, korsafbrændinger og raceoprør såvel som selvforsvarsgrupper som NAACP og Sorte Pantere har været totalt ukendte i Brasilien?




345

Min forklaring er, at de hvide forsvandt fra Vestindien efter slaveriet, hvorefter de sorte der var omgivet af sorte rollemodeller, hvilket gav dem mulighed for at genopbygge den selvtillid, der var blevet knust af slaveriet. Men i USA lever de sorte fortsat i et samfund med et flertal af hvide, hvor vi med vores negative tænkning har magten til at definere dem og fortsat knuser deres selvværd. Derfor kan sorte amerikanske forældre ikke på overbevisende vis, ligesom vestinderne og jøderne, opmuntre deres børn med: "Ja, mit barn, det er et racistisk samfund, men du kan stadig klare dig ved at arbejde dobbelt så hårdt som andre!" Det kan kun folk, der tror på sig selv, gøre. De sorte indvandreres initiativ og opfindsomhed bliver ikke knust af vores tveæggede sværd af nedladende liberal generøsitet og reaktionær racistisk grusomhed, som definerer det effektive slaveri. Sorte indvandrere er for stolte til at acceptere det første, og i mere end et århundrede har de ikke været tvunget til at håndtere det andet. Da deres psykologi ikke er præget af racisme, gør de modstand og trives på samme måde som Europas jøder ofte gjorde på trods af antisemitisme. Ikke overraskende kalder mine indfødte sorte venner i Hartford, CT vestinderne for "go getters" eller "sorte jøder".

Fru Pabst var ankommet ligesom Lidy - tomhændet, men ikke knækket - med en baggrund, der sendte hende direkte ind i overklassen
. Som medlem af det gamle russiske aristokrati mistede hun alt under revolutionen undtagen det vigtigste: hendes akkulturation i overklassen. Hun kunne derfor gifte sig ind i penge (Pabstbryggerierne) ligesom de andre 2/3 af de rigeste 1%, der blev født ind i deres rigdom. I dag ejer familien adskillige landsteder rundt i verden og jeg ferierede i nogen tid med dem på en 3 millioner dollars farm i Californien. Jeg kunne godt lide fru Pabst – levende interesseret som hun var i kunst og kultur – og jeg havde håbet, hun ville give mig lidt penge til at købe mere film for. Så jeg viste hende mine billeder, bl.a. denne lille dreng i muddergrøften. Hans verden er så forskellig fra fru Pabsts barnebarns, som tjenestepigen serverer, at hvis der ikke stod Pabst på øldåserne, han må vokse op i, ville man ikke vide, at de tilhører den samme verden, og at deres liv på en eller anden måde er forbundet med hinanden. Men da fru Pabst så disse fotos af mennesker slået ud af apati og alkoholisme, råbte hun gentagne gange: ”Jeg hader dem! Jeg hader de dovne dyr! Hvorfor vil de ikke arbejde? Hvorfor ta’r de ikke et job?” Men hvor får fru Pabst dog al det guld på ørerne fra (uden at arbejde), og hvorfor arbejder de ”dyr” dog ikke?

346

Sing a song of sad young men,

glasses full of rye.

All the news is bad again

kiss your dreams goodbye.

All the sad young men

sitting in the bars

drinking up the night

and missing all the stars.

All the sad young men

drifting through the town

drinking up the night

trying not to frown.

All the sad young men,

singing in the cold

trying to forget

that they are growing old.

All the sad young men

choking on their youth,

trying to be gay

running from the truth.

Autumn turns the leaves to gold

slowly dies the heart.

Sad young men

are growing old,

that’s the cruelest part.

Misbegotten moon

shines for a sad young man,

let your gentle light

guide them all again.

All the sad, sad, sad young men.


350

Jeg bliver ofte spurgt, hvordan jeg kom til at bo hos Rockefellerne - og hvorfor. Her er min historie. Jeg forlod Washington, DC en forårsmorgen i 1974 med det formål at besøge fattige kulminearbejdere i West Virginia. Da det var varmt, tog jeg af sted i skjorteærmer, uden at vide, at foråret kommer tre uger senere i bjergene. Jeg befandt mig snart i en snestorm ved krydset mellem Rt 50 og I-79. Bjergfolk samler normalt ikke blaffere op - "selv hvis det var min egen søn", insisterede en mand. Og når bilisterne ser en mand i en snestorm uden så meget som en vindjakke, tænker de at det er en undsluppet fange, og suser forbi. Så jeg stod der hele dagen så kold, at jeg ikke engang kunne række min frosne tommelfinger frem. Men jo mere jeg led, jo mere følte jeg, at der ville ske noget fantastisk den dag. Som vagabond havde jeg udviklet en næsten religiøs fatalisme omkring lidelse - at kun gennem smerte kommer man i himlen. Desuden er man netop gennem denne overbevisning i stand til at smelte bjergene, eller de kolde hjerter, omkring en. Til sidst, efter at det var blevet mørkt, gav mit håndholdte danske skilt mig et lift med to advokater. Da den ene så min elendige tilstand, tilbød han at jeg kunne overnatte hos ham i Charleston. Så jeg var sikret, selv om det ikke helt lød som "himlen" at bo hos en arbejdsadvokat. Knap en halv time længere nede ad motorvejen sagde den ene af dem: "Derinde ligger Buckhannon, hvor Rockefeller bor ..." og jeg vidste straks, hvorfor jeg havde udholdt så meget den dag. Til deres overraskelse bad jeg dem om at lade mig stå af der. Så begyndte jeg den 13 mil lange gåtur ned ad en mørk, øde bjergvej - stadig i en frygtelig snestorm og stadig i skjorteærmer. I byen spurgte jeg, hvor Rockefeller boede. Han var nu præsident for West Virginia Wesleyan College, og snart fandt jeg hans hus på Pocahontas St. tæt på skolen.

 

For at uddybe dette må jeg kort vende tilbage til mine protester mod Vietnam-krigen (før jeg kom til Amerika). Moralsk forarget over USA's brug af napalmbomber, som brændte eller sårede tusindvis af vietnamesere - herunder børn - designede og trykte jeg for egen regning en plakat, hvorpå der stod: ESSO laver napalm. (Esso er nu kendt som Exxon.) Jeg løb rundt og klistrede dem op i hele København, ofte med politiet i hælene. En kold december aften klatrede jeg op i et højt træ for at undgå at blive fanget af politiet, der, som jeg opdagede, som regel også var imod Vietnam-krigen. For at drille mig parkerede to smilende betjente deres bil ved siden af træet. "Du kan sidde deroppe hele natten og fryse, mens vi slapper af i den varme bil og drikker kaffe, indtil du kommer ned." Selv om jeg frøs i mit høje tilflugtssted, var jeg fast besluttet på at vinde over mine plageånder. Jeg kom ikke ned, og om morgenen gav de op. Hver dag kunne jeg se, hvordan jeg var ved at vinde min moralske krig. For Esso måtte hyre en hel hær af arbejdere til at gå rundt og male Esso-logoet over med sort maling for at stoppe den voksende boykot af deres tankstationer. Reklamens magt – og dette var min første reklame - fik mig altså til både at hade og elske Esso-logoet. Undervejs opbyggede jeg et overvældende fjendtligt billede af monsteret bag Esso: Rockefeller-familien. Jeg fik også at vide, at de havde været ansvarlige for 51 strejkende mænd, kvinder og børns død i Colorado i 1914. Med CIA's hjælp havde de væltet regeringer, herunder Irans, og indsat den morderiske, torturerende Shah for at forhindre Iran i at nationalisere sine oliekilder (hvilket senere førte til den islamiske revolution). Så da jeg nu oplevede et sandt déjà vu (min frysende nat i træet) og blev overvældet af retfærdig vrede, følte jeg, at jeg havde ret til at stå over for selve monstret - og bankede på døren.

 

 

352

Og hvad skete der så? Det samme, som altid sker, når jeg flytter ind hos monstrene i mit hoved: En smuk ung kvinde åbnede døren. Jeg antog, at det var en af de mange tjenestefolk, og spurgte på den mest naturlige måde - jeg havde jo ret til at være der - "Må jeg tale med hr. Rockefeller?" Hun sagde, at han ikke var hjemme, men at jeg kunne komme ind og vente på ham. Selv om jeg selv lignede et monster af en slags (et snemonster), troede hun sikkert, at jeg var en studerende fra hans universitet. Hun rakte mig håndklæder til at tørre mig og spurgte, om jeg var sulten. Hvis jeg var, ville hun begynde at lave mad, da hun ikke vidste, hvornår hendes "mand" ville være hjemme. Ægtemand? tænkte jeg. Alle de hadefulde karikaturer, jeg havde set af "Rockefeller", havde været af gamle mænd. Det var i hvert fald tilfældet efter Rockefellers massakre på fanger i Attica, da de havde gjorde oprør for at kræve fængselsreform. Jeg havde været til begravelsen og kendte nogle af de sorte enker (side 406). Men Sharon Rockefeller var næsten på min egen alder, og hendes mand, Jay, var kun 10 år ældre. Mens hun lavede mad til mig, begyndte jeg at lege med hendes bedårende 3-årige datter Valerie. Da Sharon så, hvor godt vi kom ud af det, spurgte hun om jeg måske kunne blive og passe hende; hun skulle til Europa om et par dage og havde endnu ikke fundet en babysitter. Lidt senere kom en veninde af familien forbi, og under snakken hviskede hun, at Valerie var opkaldt efter Sharons tvillingesøster, som var blevet myrdet. "Myrdet? Hvordan?" spurgte jeg vantro. Jeg var vant til mord i underklassen, ikke blandt de velhavende. Efter at Sharon, hvis pigenavn er Percy, og Valerie var blevet færdiguddannet fra college, samledes familien i deres palæ ved søen i en forstad til Chicago. Sharon gik ind i Valeries soveværelse for at sige godnat til sin søster, og næste morgen blev hendes enæggede tvilling fundet mishandlet og stukket ihjel. Forbrydelsen, som aldrig blev opklaret, efterlod Sharon traumatiseret og kastede en mørk skygge over familien, som aldrig forsvandt. Dengang var jeg ikke overrasket over Sharons babysitterbemærkning, da jeg var vant til, at folk straks stolede på mig, men i årenes løb har jeg ofte reflekteret over denne bemærkelsesværdige kvinde. For hvor mange andre kvinder ville, så kort tid efter at en elsket søster var blevet myrdet af en ubuden gæst, have modet til at invitere en fremmed ind i deres hjem, der lignede Charles Manson? (Lige efter dennes mord på en anden Sharon under Tate-Labianca-mordene). Hvor mange ville bede denne fremmede om at babysitte hendes datter (opkaldt efter det største tab i hendes liv)? Men Sharon delte mit eget tillidsfulde syn.

 

Da Jay Rockefeller endelig kom hjem, tabte jeg fuldstændig mit hjerte til denne varmhjertede familie. Da jeg var fordybet i en samtale med hans kone, antog han, at jeg var en af hendes venner, og han spurgte aldrig, hvorfor jeg var der (ligesom jeg selv havde glemt, hvorfor jeg var der). Hvis jeg havde forventet at møde et monster, var det min egen projektion, da vi til min overraskelse og glæde havde de samme holdninger til næsten alting. Han var også modstander af Vietnam-krigen og kritiserede senere krigshelten John McCain for at smide napalmbomber på civile vietnamesere. Efter college var han rejst den samme vej som jeg den dag for at arbejde med fattige kulminearbejdere, der boede i hytter, der var lige så elendige som dem, jeg havde fotograferet. Han arbejdede for at forbedre deres forhold i VISTA-programmet, som John F. Kennedy startede, og han tabte sit hjerte til disse minearbejdere, blev der og har været en magtfuld talsmand for dem lige siden, først som deres guvernør og senere som senator i Washington. Jeg følte med det samme, at han var "min mand". Efter at vi havde drukket en del flasker, og han havde vist stor interesse for mine billeder af shacks og fattigdom, følte jeg mig så opløftet, at jeg fortalte ham, at jeg forgæves havde forsøgt at få støtte til at købe et professionelt Nikon-kamera og film, så jeg kunne fuldføre mit arbejde. Jeg vil aldrig glemme hans svar: "Taler du til mig som person eller til fonden? Så kom op på mit kontor i morgen og vis mig din ansøgning om støtte". Jeg kunne næsten ikke sove den nat. For første gang havde jeg et reelt håb om at få lidt støtte til min fotografering (om ikke andet så nogle babysitterpenge). Men da jeg kiggede på den ansøgning, som jeg altid havde med mig, så jeg en sætning om "Rockefeller-klanens brutale massakre på 41 fanger i Attica". Det havde jeg fuldstændig glemt. Jeg var så flov efter at have mødt så meget varme, gæstfrihed og tillid fra Rockefellerne, at jeg ikke kunne få mig selv til at banke på hans dør. I stedet vendte jeg om og fortsatte min vagabondering med den gamle Rockefellers slogan: "hverken en dime til banken eller en penny til at bruge". Rasende på mine fordomme formulerede jeg min nye indsigt: Underklassesyndromet med mord og alkoholisme er blot et spejlbillede af den herskende klasse. Indrømmet, alkoholisme-delen henviste mere til det, jeg havde set i andre overklassefamilier, end til denne familie, som havde vist mig så megen generøsitet, selv om jeg var en ubudne gæst. To dage senere boede jeg hos denne kvinde i en hytte, der lå lige ved et Exxon-raffinaderi. Ud over mit had/kærlighedsforhold til Exxon-logoet tror jeg, at der var en anden grund til, at jeg endte hos hende. I løbet af mit første år i Amerika underskrev præsident Nixon den nationale miljølov om at fjerne bly fra benzin. Blyholdig benzin var blevet introduceret af Standard Oil (Exxon) for dets ”anti-knock effect,” og Exxon havde bekæmpet tidligere forsøg på at forbyde det. Lige før jeg brød mit "anti-knock"-vagabondprincip i Jay og Sharons hus – for jeg ventede altid passivt på, at folk inviterede mig hjem - havde jeg hørt om nye undersøgelser, der viste blyets ødelæggende virkninger på børn. Jeg tænkte på alt det bly, som sorte børn blev udsat for i ghettohjem, der ofte var bygget ved siden af motorveje i den indre by. (Side 299). Dette gav mig svaret på, hvorfor vold og mord var eksploderet ca. 20 år efter, at blyholdig gas blev almindelig. (Denne dreng viser mig blodet fra en i hans familie, som lige var blevet myrdet). Bly spiller også en vigtig rolle i mange ghettobørns indlæringsvanskeligheder og forklarer, hvorfor mange hvide, som Valerie, klarede sig bedre i skolen. 17 år senere, efter et af mine shows i Stanford, kom en hvid kvinde hen til mig og spurgte, om vi kunne tale under fire øjne. Hun virkede lidt vred, da hun sagde: "Jeg er med i din bog". Jeg var helt forvirret, da der næsten ikke var nogen hvide i bogen. Da hun fandt siden, gik det op for mig, at hun var Valerie Rockefeller. "Sidste år," fortsatte hun, "da min værelseskammerat kom hjem efter dit show og fortalte mig, at du portrætterede min far som alkoholiker og massemorder, blev jeg meget vred på dig. Men nu, hvor jeg selv har set showet, må jeg give dig et stort knus. Og her er mit visitkort. Hvis du nogensinde får brug for min hjælp, så ring til mig." Wow. Igen blev jeg ramt af skyldfølelse, fordi jeg i bogen ikke havde skelnet tilstrækkeligt mellem Exxon, et symbol på undertrykkelse, og den kærlige familie, som engang havde taget mig til sig. Jeg mødte præcis den samme overvældende reaktion fra tre andre Rockefeller-børn på andre universiteter. De bad endda om mit råd om, hvordan de bedst kunne tjene de fattige. Så jeg var ikke overrasket over at se Valerie, hvis tunge bagage var både negativ og positiv, ende som lærer for unge med indlærings- og emotionelle problemer i Harlem. På en eller anden måde så jeg en direkte linje fra vores første møde i hendes hjem, da hun var barn, til hendes sociale engagement som voksen i Harlem. Først og fremmest blev hun formet af hendes forældres lange sociale engagement.

 

Måske forstærket af hendes mors nedarvede traumer (parallelt med de nedarvede traumer blandt sorte børn). Under alle omstændigheder var jeg, ligesom med hendes far, forbavset over, hvor enige vi var om alting, da vi sidst kommunikerede i 2015. "Jeg er stadig hyper kritisk fordømmende over for folk med penge!" skrev hun til mig. Hun er også aktiv i Rockefeller-familiens indsats for at stoppe Exxon/Mobils klimafornægtelse. "Som efterkommere har vi en ekstra byrde i forhold til at bekæmpe klimaforandringer," siger Valerie.

 


355


Integrationen af sorte og hvide skolebørn var et af de mest betydningsfulde resultater af borgerrettighedskampen. At mange bedre stillede liberale ikke tillod deres børn at blive integreret var med til at sabotere integrationen og skabe vrede blandt fattige hvide, som ikke havde råd til privatskoler. Forholdene i de amerikanske skoler var måske det mest chokerende aspekt af min rejse. Aldrig havde jeg hørt så mange hjernevaskende fraser som “Mennesker værdsætter frihed over alt andet” kombineret med en næsten total udeladelse af sort historie. I dag forbyder mange skoler tilmed bøger af sorte som nobelprisvinderen Toni Morrison.

Denne totalitære ensretning er som “troskabseden” til “én nation, under Gud, udelelig, med frihed og retfærdighed for alle”. Den står i skærende kontrast til den slaveriets tilstand, der hamres ind i de sorte børn i disse forfaldne “ghettoskoler” med krydsfinervinduer. I teorien giver vi med glæde frihed og retfærdighed til Robert, som her ses sværge troskab i Washington, NC, for bagefter at gå hjem til sin shack med flere rotter end bøger. I det mindste hjælper det at dække vinduerne med “stars and stribes” for at holde kulden - og hans amerikanske drøm - ude.





357

Jeg så voldsomme kampe i byer overalt, hvor sorte, der desperat forsøgte at bryde ud af vores påtvungne raceadskillelse for at give deres børn en chance for en ligeværdig uddannelse, sendte dem med busser til skoler i hvide kvarterer.

Når politi og soldater skal eskortere børn i hver eneste bus, og rasende stenkastende hvide skal holdes bag barrikader for at beskytte sorte børn, lærer vi dem på deres første dag i den hvide verden, at Ku Klux Klan er i hjertet af enhver hvid ... som jeg fejlagtigt skrev engang. For siden har jeg i mit arbejde med KKK lært, at klanens børn ofte er de eneste hvide i helt sorte skoler, da de er for fattige til at flytte væk fra sorte skoler og kvarterer.
Men ”sorte skoler” er præcis det, som mange danske forældre, der sad som selvretfærdige unge i 70’erne og højlydt fordømte amerikanernes racisme, når de så mit diasshow, i dag selv flygter fra. 


Plads til engelske skolers adskillelse
359

Det er sorte skolebørn i en amerikansk ghetto, der er optaget på bånd, men samtalen kunne lige så godt være optaget i dag blandt brune ghettobørn i Europa:

 

– Vi burde være venner med de hvide ligesom Avis. Hun er min ven og hun er hvid.

– Vent bare til hun bliver voksen, så vil hun være ude af denne verden.

– Hvordan ved du, at hun vil være ude af denne verden?
– Hun vil ikke være ude af verden, men ude af dette land.
– Ude af dette land eller ude af denne ghetto?
– Ude af dette land, ghetto eller hvad det nu er...
– Hun vil stadig være min ven.

- Hun vender sig måske imod dig. De vil måske hjernevaske hende.

– Men en hvid er stadigvæk et menneske!

– Men hvorfor... hvorfor behandler de så et sort menneske, som var det et dyr?

– Vi må have gjort et eller andet galt!

Når jeg lyttede til sådanne samtaler med 7- og 8-årige børn, kunne jeg kun konkludere, at mange af dem ikke kun ser deres ghetto, men også deres land som et lukket system og - værre endnu - bebrejder sig selv for det. På spørgsmålet "Hvor kommer du fra?" vil brune børn født i Danmark f.eks. svare "Tyrkiet". Ligesom sorte har de internaliseret budskabet i vores splittelsesretorik: "Du er uønsket og ikke en del af vores værdier."


Når man konstant får at vide at man ikke hører til,
er det ikke overraskende, at mange ghettoforældre er imod integreret skolegang på trods af deres viden om, at ghettoskoler ikke fungerer. At blive berøvet en god uddannelse i sin egen ghettoskole er at foretrække for illusionen om at tilhøre det bredere samfund med de afsavn, man også må lide her. For det er en sørgelig kendsgerning, at selv i integrerede skoler dræber vi ånden og motivationen hos de børn, vi har marginaliseret. Overalt i verden skaber lærerne eleverne til at passe til det billede og de forventninger, de allerede har til dem. Hvis man tager et tilfældigt udsnit af en klasse og siger til lærerne, at disse elever er "potentielle akademiske stræbere", vil disse børn efter et år eller to leve op til denne forventning takket være den særbehandling, som læreren ubevidst giver dem. I et herre-slave-samfund vil den, der forventes at blive slave (ubrugelig), således få en ringere undervisning, uden at hverken sorte eller hvide lærere, eller segregation eller integration gør nogen større forskel.

Denne "uskyldige" forskelsbehandling har katastrofale konsekvenser, hvor man opdeler eleverne i "langsomme" og "kvikke" spor, som naturligvis er en afspejling af klassesamfundet udenfor. Hvor skadelig en sådan forskelsbehandling er for et barns selvværd, blev vist, da en computer fejlagtigt placerede alle de såkaldt "langsomme" børn i den "kvikke" klasse og omvendt. Et år senere, da fejlen blev opdaget, fandt lærerne ud af, at de langsomme elever opførte sig, som om de var kloge, og at de kloge elever opførte sig, som om de var dumme - begyndelsen til ghettodannelse.
Jeg mødte konstant lærere og endda rektorer, der omtalte deres ghetto-elever som "dyr". Så meget, at jeg oplevede selv mindre børn tænke på sig selv som rotter.

 

 

I min egen skole lærte jeg på egen hånd, at det billede, læreren havde af et barn, bliver det billede, som barnet antager og forsøger at leve op til.
Jeg talte en landlig dialekt, som lød ”dum” og ”uformuleret” i ørerne på lærerne i byen, hvor de talte ”korrekt” dansk. Derfor undgik de mig ubevidst, og lidt efter lidt blev jeg indadvendt med lejlighedsvise eksplosioner af "dum" adfærd. Jeg mistede enhver lyst til at lære og scorede konsekvent 30-50 % dårligere end de andre elever. Til sidst blev jeg tvunget til at lade mig ”smide ud”, hvilket lykkeligvis en dag gjorde mig til vagabond med gadevisdom. Men hvis jeg, ud over min ADHD havde været sort eller brun i et racistisk samfund, hvor vi ubevidst forsøger at holde sådanne ”indlæringsumulige” ude af syne, indtil de bliver ”adfærdsumulige”, kunne jeg let være endt ikke blot som ”street wise”, men også som ”kriminel”, ”narkoman”, ”bistandssnylter” eller de andre roller, som smid-væk-samfundet finder det passende at modellere sine uønskede i.

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For at undgå beskyldningen om at være herre-slave-samfundets forlængede spanskrør,
finder lærerne ofte nye måder at give deres elever skylden på. De liberale insisterer på, at ghettobarnets "manglende motivation" og "nedsatte indlæringsevne" skyldes, at de er "kulturelt depriverede", da de kommer fra hjem med ikke flere bøger, end der kunne findes i slavehytter (eller i en tyrkisk eller arabisk bondes hjem). Kunne det hænde, at lærerne selv er blevet indfanget i et lukket system og derved er blevet så fremragende undertrykkere med deres ”Vore skoler er ikke dårlige, men vi får dårlige elever” eller ”Poor little things”, domme, der knuser børnene?

Hvis der er nogen tvivl tilbage, er det værd at huske på, at meget motiverede, politisk og socialt bevidste lærere på skoler, der blev ledet af de sorte pantere og sorte muslimer, bragte deres ghettobørn op på nationalt (hvidt) niveau. Private muslimske skoler i Danmark kan gøre det på samme måde. Med andre ord ved at udmærke sig akademisk og ikke kun gennem sportslegater.

En sådan præventiv forventningsbaseret indlæring kan også ses i samfund, der er gennemsyret af undertrykkende tænkning over for andre sårbare grupper.
Amerikanske kvinder, som f.eks. har gået på pigeskole, hvor de er beskyttet mod samfundets sexisme, klarer sig bedre efter uddannelsen end kvinder, som gik på integrerede skoler. Hvis nogle af os har svært ved at se vores egen racisme i øjnene, må vi ikke glemme, hvor få mænd der for 50 år siden så sig selv som sexister.

Men at vi smadrede pigerne med vore holdninger, afsløres af statistikkerne fra disse år, som viser, hvor mange kvinder vi "tvang" væk fra videregående uddannelser ved at give dem emotionelle blokeringer, der forhindrede dem i at blive læger, advokater og videnskabsmænd.

 Når vi ser 4. klasses syndromet hos vores marginaliserede sorte og brune børn i både USA og Europa, må vi konkludere: Enten har vi brug for hjælp til at bearbejde vores racisme, eller også skal farvede børn beskyttes mod os i ikke-integrerede skoler med højt engagerede og bevidste lærere, "frelsende engle", der kan genoprette den følelse af selvværd og identitet, som vi så tidligt stjæler fra dem.
Desværre oplever jeg mig selv som en aktiv del af denne racisme. Efter måneders undervisning på overvejende hvide universiteter har jeg f.eks. internaliseret de studerendes tankegang, og tager ofte mig selv i at tænke i racistiske vendinger om "sorte”.  Når jeg er tilsvarende isoleret i Danmark, bliver min tankegang om dem, som danskerne betegner som "muslimer", skævvredet på samme måde.  Med racistens bebrejdende og afstandtagende tænkning med hang til at finde fejl hos ”de andre", hjælper jeg således vores udstødte til at danne en selvopgivende fjendtlig holdning - igen i mit hvide privilegiums blindhed. For blindhed er det, når vi udadtil kræver integration, men i vores indre tænkning ”tager afstand fra”, frygter og følgelig knuser dem, vi burde integrere os med.





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I Los Angeles så jeg et smukt tilfælde af racesolidaritet, da vestindiske immigrantstuderende dannede en organisation for at motivere indfødte sorte til ikke at droppe ud af high school og college - en slags historisk gentagelse af den underjordiske jernbane, hvor frie sorte hjalp folk ud af slaveriet.


Her burde noget om de sorte i England beskrevet af Steve McQueen.

I hvor høj grad vi alle er ofre for denne undertrykkelse, viser dette billede af en gruppe sorte teenagere. Pigen blev som baby adopteret af sorte i ghettoen og er blevet opdraget til at være sort: til at opføre sig sort, til at tænke sort og til at klæde sig sort. Hun har næsten intet til fælles med de hvide; hun kan ikke engang tale "vores sprog". I hvide hjem ser jeg det modsatte. Sorte og hvide, palæstinensere og jøder, indfødte og indvandrere, mænd og kvinder, heteroseksuelle og homoseksuelle lider alvorlig skade, når forældre tidligt genskaber de undertrykkelsesmønstre, som de selv har modtaget fra deres forældre.
Begge parter berøves både evne og lyst til senere at opføre sig menneskeligt over for modparten.
Vi giver dybt inde op og beslutter, at det er en absurd etnisk alkymi at forsøge at integrere elementer, der frastøder hinanden som olie og vand. De frisindedes hektiske bestræbelser på at ryste disse to elementer så meget, at de for en kort stund fragmenteres i mindre partikler, er blot et forgæves forsøg på at give undertrykkelsen et menneskeligt ansigt - ligesom at stemme på Obama, mens man er fanget i den massive apartheid i hjertet på sorte og hvide, han selv beskriver i ”Mod til at håbe”. Er der så overhovedet noget håb?


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Jo, selv de værste racister hører jeg tit sige: ”Gid vi kunne få lov at adoptere alle sorte børn, så de kan blive ligesom os.” Selv om de på typisk racistisk vis leder efter fejlen hos "de andre", er det ikke et udtryk for racehad. Ligesom europæerne glæder sig, når "muslimer" konverterer til kristendommen, men glemmer at det er de brunes anderledes kultur, vi i reagerer negativt på. Jeg ser dette akavede håb tydeligst hos hvide studerende på amerikanske universiteter, når de fortæller, hvordan de af progressiv skyldfølelse forsøger at række ud til sorte elever. Men hele tiden holdes de tilbage af reaktionær skyldfølelse: de husker alle deres forældres advarsler i barndommen; normalt ikke direkte verbalt, men f.eks. i blikkene eller klikkene fra bilens dørlåse, når de kørte lidt for tæt på sorte kvarter. Det er skræmmende at forråde vores forældres kærlighed, som vi kan mærke i baghovedet trække i den modsatte retning. Så når de rækker ud efter de sorte af kærlighed, bliver de trukket bagud af kærlighed. De bliver klodsede og nedladende over for sorte, som reagerer med dybt rodfæstet vrede og fjendtlighed, da de har været igennem en lignende, men omvendt undertrykkelse. Dette genstimulerer de hvides frygt – nu frygten for at blive afvist – nøjagtig som velmenende hvide i danske skoler beretter om det. Således "skaber" undertrykkeren og den undertrykte konstant hinanden, da ingen af os er frie. For hvad der definerer alle undertrykkelsessystemer, er tabet af ”frihed” - friheden til at reagere på en måde som en outsider af systemet vil se som ”normal” eller ”menneskelig.”

Denne cocktail af hvid skyld og frygt skaber vrede og fjendtlighed som følge af internaliseret racisme blandt sorte, hvilket igen skaber mere hvid frygt og skyld osv. Den værste racisme i dag er således ikke skabt af had, men af kærlighed - et ønske om at beskytte vores børn mod det, vi selv blev lært at frygte. Når jeg tager hvide med til sorte fester i USA eller til brune fester i Danmark, ser jeg ofte, at de bryder ud i gråd af skyldfølelse: efter at de så længe ubevidst har dæmoniseret dem, oplever de pludselig "de andre" som rigtige mennesker. Vores tårer afslører, at vi alle er ulykkelige ofre for racismen.